Today I felt low, weary and blue. Being escorted to an appointment reminded me of the weight of the section on me, I wasn’t allowed out of the healthcare assistant’s (HCA’s) sight. “She’s under section 3 of the mental health act”, the HCA said out loud to the person I met for my appointment. I felt my body shudder. This is real! I have been detained, I am still detained. All for my safety, I rationalise. But, the weight of the suppression I can’t compromise. I feel like I am “under” something heavy that restricts my freedom and rights.
A session in the gym this afternoon helped to lift my mood and a call with family too. A friend sent a text, she is visiting tonight; simple gestures of love and thoughtfulness from beyond these walls means so much at this time.
I don’t know how much longer I’ll be detained, but what I know is that one day my section will be lifted, and I will stand with my head held high, knowing I had the courage to choose to get well, to choose life.